


Secrets We Keep

by TheCookieOfDoom



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2018-10-29 18:37:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10859748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCookieOfDoom/pseuds/TheCookieOfDoom
Summary: “We’ll be somewhere warmer soon,” Jon said into the silence. Ghost came padding out of the shadows to join him on the bed, his large body a welcome buffer against the cold. Jon sank his hands into Ghost’s coat, buried his face in the warm fur, his damp breaths creating a moist spot against Ghost’s side. Ghost, his most loyal friend, his faithful companion. He would be Jon’s last reminder of home once he left.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is for all you lovelies who have been encouraging all the omega Jon lol

Winterfell was cold and dark, the moon absent from the night sky. Jon could find no warmth in his room, too far away from the hot springs that kept the castle from becoming a prison pf ice. He could just see the wisps of his breath, like ghosts against his lips. The gap between his window and wall allowed the cold to seep in, slow and insistent, chilling his skin.

“We’ll be somewhere warmer soon,” Jon said into the silence. Ghost came padding out of the shadows to join him on the bed, his large body a welcome buffer against the cold. Jon sank his hands into Ghost’s coat, buried his face in the warm fur, his damp breaths creating a moist spot against Ghost’s side. Ghost, his most loyal friend, his faithful companion. He would be Jon’s last reminder of home once he left.

Jon tried to sleep one last night in his bed, but the dread of his coming departure settled hard and cold in his stomach, keeping him awake, tossing and turning in the dark. As the night crept into the wee hours of the morning, he could take it no longer, the gnawing guilt. He rose from the bed, Ghost picking up his large head to watch as Jon dressed in black leather, a mockery of the colors he had once thought to wear with pride. Jon draped his cloak around his shoulders, mottled white and grey fur soft around his neck, and made for the door.

Ghost rose to follow. _You won’t leave me, too,_ his eyes seemed to say. Jon smiled, sad, and put his hand on the wolf’s back. He easily came up to Jon’s waist, towering above the kennel master’s hounds and sending them scampering with a single look.

Together, they walked out of the keep and into the godswood. Jon’s couldn’t help but think his crunching steps on the snow sounded like a death knell.

***

Jon knelt before the weirwood tree and bowed his head in prayer, snow falling gently around him. It caught in his black curls and glistened like stars. He prayed for answers to questions he didn’t know, for guidance. In the end, the gods were silent as the grave. They always were.

“I don’t know what to do,” Jon whispered to the frozen face in the tree, his eyes downcast, unable to meet the gods. Around him the leaves rustled against each other, frozen branches creaked. Icicles shattered from their holds and fell softly to the snow-blanketed ground. Jon listened. But the wind carried no words.

Behind him Ghost drank from the waters of the black pool, disturbing the smooth glass-like surface. He was the only creature in the godswood that dared drink from the pond, lapping without a care in the world. A gift from the Old Gods themselves, he had nothing to fear.

Jon stayed in the godswood until the sun rose over the horizon, gentle rays filtering through the tangled canopy to warm Jon’s face. He felt frozen in place, a statue of ice. If he stayed there long enough, maybe he would become one of the sentinel trees, an eternal guardian of the wood.

Instead Jon forced himself to his feet, limbs stiff with the cold and joints aching like an old man’s. He had made his peace with the gods, what little that he could. There was nothing left for him here.

“Come Ghost,” Jon said, summoning the great beast to his side. Ghost rose from the snow, indistinguishable until he opened his crimson eyes. He shook off the thin layer of flakes that had covered him over the hours they’d been in the wood. Ghost trotted faithfully to Jon’s side, walked with him out of the godswood.

Once they reached the edge, Jon kept walking, but Ghost stopped. He turned his head to look back, and wondered if this was the last time he would see the godswood. If where they were going would have a connection to the Old Gods that sired him.

***

“There you are,” Robb called as Jon walked through the gates of Winterfell. His smile was beatific, eyes bright. Jon smiled back as his half-brother, guilty. “Where have you been? I thought we were going to go for a ride this morning.”

“I was out in the godswood. Couldn’t sleep. Figured I needed a walk.”

“How long were you out there?” Robb laughed, dusting snow off of Jon’s shoulders and ruffling it out of his hair. “I swear, you spend more time with the gods than even father.”

“I like the quiet.”

“Oh.” Robb’s smile fell. “Should I leave you alone, then?”

 _Yes,_ Jon wanted to say, for entirely selfish reasons. It would hurt less when he left, if he pushed Robb away now. But in his heart, he knew he couldn’t. He could never push Robb away. If he was able, he would never had had to leave in the first place.

“No, of course not,” Jon said honestly, bitter cold wrapping its spindly fingers around his heart, digging in like icicles. “Let’s go for that ride.”

“Great.” Robb’s eyes were the color of ice, but they were so warm. Jon wanted nothing more than for Robb to kiss him. But here, in the middle of the courtyard, with Winterfell already waking, he wouldn’t. Neither of them would dare be so open with their affection with no many witnesses milling around.

Jon followed Robb to the stable where they prepared their horses, two large destriers. Jon’s was a sleek black beauty, Robb’s a warm bay. They had raised their mounts from foals, just as they had with their wolves. They climbed atop their mounts and raced their way out of Winterfell, sights set on the Wolfswood, Ghost and Greywind on their heels.

Robb trampled into the woods mere seconds before Jon, laughter loud as he slowed his horse to a walk. He looked back at Jon, bright-eyed and full of youthful excitement. He didn’t have a care in the world. Jon wished he could say the same as he slowed his own horse, watching Robb speak but not listening to a single word. He was trying to memorize the way the light reflected off the snow and shone in his brother’s eyes. The way it turned his auburn hair to polished copper, more precious than gold. Jon would miss him when he left, knew he would never see him again after this. The regret choked him, made it impossible to breathe.

“What is it?” Robb asked when Jon didn’t say anything for several minutes. “Why are you looking at me like that.”

“It’s nothing.” Jon forced himself to smile, shaking his head. He could choose to be maudlin during his last day with Robb, or he could enjoy it, and bring with him kind memories to soothe the heartache.

“You’re always getting lost in your head. What were you thinking about?”

“You,” Jon said truthfully. He had long given up on any shyness or shame; they served no purpose. He was rewarded when Robb halted both of their horses, and leaned across to kiss him. His lips were soft and honey-sweet. Jon could taste the blackberry jam on his tongue when it touched his.

“I love you,” Robb whispered, caressing his cheek. Jon’s heart clenched; it was the first time Robb had said the words. He desperately wanted to say it back, but he couldn’t. Not now. It would feel too much like a slap in the face when Robb woke and he was gone. Thankfully, Robb didn’t expect him to. “It’s alright, you don’t have to say it back,” Robb said, feeling the way Jon tensed. “I just wanted you to know.”

Jon looked at Robb with wide eyes when he pulled away, wondering if his lover knew what he planned to do that night. If this was Robb’s attempt to keep him in Winterfell. But Robb was looking at him so earnestly, something soft in his eyes that Jon had only seen late in the night after their forbidden trysts, and he knew it was nothing so manipulative. Robb truly did love him.

In that moment, Jon wanted to hate him. Robb was making it so hard for him to leave, reminding him of all he would be leaving behind. He had to leave, but gods, it _hurt._ Nothing could compare to the pain he felt at the thought of abandoning Robb, leaving in the middle of the night like a coward, unable to face him in the daylight.

 _What does that tell you?_ Jon’s traitorous mind asked. _If you can’t even face him, perhaps that means you should stay._

Robb would want him to. He would be heartbroken when he learned what Jon had done in the coming morning. And if he found out why… Robb had all the honor that Ned Stark did. He wouldn’t turn Jon away, would still welcome him with open arms. But Jon couldn’t do that to him. His presence would be a stain on his brother’s honor, and Jon wouldn’t allow that.

They continued their ride in silence, Jon’s eyes trained in front of him. The wolves were running and nipping at each other, play fighting. Exactly the way he and Robb used to, running around with their practice swords and pretending they were brave knights going to war. They had been foolish children then, who still believed that love won out over everything. Robb still believed that, but Jon didn’t. He coukdn't.

***

Robb whisked Jon away for the entirety of the day, avoiding his mother and their father so as not to get pulled away to some inane task. After making a brief appearance for supper, the two of them stole into the kitchens, narrowly avoiding the cooks and servants in their search for sugary treats. They found a tray of fresh baked little cakes, delicate frosting melting down the sides, and shamelessly stole a few. After they ran back to Robb's chambers to hide, laughing all the while as they enjoyed their spoils.

“We haven’t done this in ages,” Robb said, licking frosting from his last treat off of his fingers. He was sprawled out on the bed, Jon sitting more conservatively with his back against the headboard, his legs crossed. He ran one hand through Robb’s hair, unable to resist the blood-red curls when they were so close.

“No, we haven’t,” Jon agreed. His smile was content, his body warm like he'd drunk too heavily from a flagon of sweet summerwine. “I was almost beginning to think you grew out of such foolishness."

“Never,” Robb said. He grinned up at Jon, pulling him down by the front of his tunic until he obliged, meeting Robb for a sticky kiss. He tasted sweet when Jon licked into his mouth, chasing the taste.

Robb laced his hand through Jon's tangle of curls, grip pulling at the roots, and the kiss turned filthy. He broke it onto to sit up and pull Jon down the bed, beneath him, where he belonged.

“Have I ever told you that you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen?” Robb asked, looking down at Jon with something akin to awe. Jon blushed, as he always did when complimented on his dull looks, and deigned not to answer. Robb kissed him on the tip of his nose when he didn’t reply, plucking delicately at the laces of his tunic. “Because you are. Such a pretty omega, I don’t know how I ever got lucky enough to have you.”

 _Unlucky, more like,_ Jon thought darkly. He turned his mind away from that bitter thread, and said, "Lucky for you, I have low standards."

"Lucky for me indeed."

Robb finally pulled free the laces of Jon's tunic, going through the eyelets one by one, until he was able to strip it off of Jon entirely. He took his own off much faster, not even bothering to undo all of the laces, then set his attention on Jon's pale chest. He was perfectly smooth, his skin soft and pale like milk. Robb leaned down to kiss his chest, dragging his lips across supple skin until he could tease one nipple between his teeth. Jon ran his fingers through Robb's hair, tugging insistently until the alpha continued kissing up his chest, before claiming his mouth again.

This time the kiss was desperate, with hands tangling in each other's hair, roaming over naked skin, the heat between them building. It didn't take long for Jon to feel the slick dampening his thighs, eager to take Robb into his body, to be as close to him as two people could be. Damn him, but he wanted this one last time. He begged prettily for Robb, soft whines and pants against his lips. He splayed his legs wide around Robb's hips, back arched in pleasure as Robb wrapped his hand around his cock, his palm callused from years of swords training rasping deliciously against Jon's hot flesh.

"Robb, Robb," Jon cried, the alpha rubbing his thumb just under his crown the way Jon liked. Robb knew his body so well, wringing pleasure from him until his limbs were trembling, and he was bleary-eyed with want. "Please," he said, wrapping his arms around Robb, pulling him close. Robb's cock slid against the crease of his thigh as he thrust his hips in a filthy grind.  

Jon was panting, his skin slick with sweat, the room sweltering. They shared their breaths, sticky and hot in the scant space between them. Robb looked at Jon with a sharp grin, biting into his bottom lip as teased the head of his cock against Jon's entrance, never quite giving him what he wanted. It was maddening.

Then just as Jon was about to start begging in earnest, Robb took pity on him. He reached between them, fingertips tracing the rim of his slick, soft entrance. Two easily sank inside the omega, his hole hardly putting up any resistance, welcoming. Robb spread him open on three fingers before he thrust in deep, and together they gasped in pleasure. Robb's cock was thick and hot, the throbbing length filling him so perfectly that he could cry.

 _I love you,_ Jon thought as Robb held himself still, giving only small abortive thrusts. _I love you, I love you, I don't want to leave you._  

Jon closed his eyes to hold back unbidden tears, and told himself the wet gasps catching in his throat were not stifled sobs. He buried his face against Robb's neck and took comfort in his scent; sweat and horse and spice. The scent of home and love and alpha. Jon throbbed with want, rose his hips against Robb's to encourage him to thrust. Robb groaned against his shoulder, teeth scraping over pale skin. Jon could tell from the sharpness that his fangs had dropped. Robb worried them against his shoulder, leaving what was sure to be quite the vivid bruise when it bloomed, and Jon held him closer. He sank his own blunt teeth into the juncture of Robb's neck and shoulder, sucking to ensure the mark would darken. A claim, if a temporary one. It would be a cold comfort to Robb come morning.

At the feel of Jon's teeth Robb jerked, then laughed against his shoulder. The omega had always been feisty, claiming Robb in the only way he could; with temporary bites and bruises that would fade with time.

Held between his soft thighs, wrapped up in his warmth and scent of snow and loam, Robb wished he could leave a permanent mark on Jon. Set his teeth to his skin and bite until he tasted blood, a proper claim that would heal and scar, forever marking Jon as his mate.

Robb forced himself to pull away from Jon before he did something stupid. He took his thighs in hand and spread them wide. Slowly, he pulled out until just the grown of his cock was inside, then thrust back into Jon. The slow, expert roll of his hips had his lover writhing beneath him, hands clenched in the bedding. He was beautiful, with a flush darkening his cheeks like he'd had too much summer wine, his skin glistening in the low light of the fire. Robb bent down to lick a trail from Jon's chest to his neck, tasting his salty skin.

"Harder," Jon pleaded, his dark eyes half-lidded and hazy, curls fanned out in a dark halo on the pillow. His back arched in a graceful curve as Robb fucked him the way he knew Jon liked, building up to a hard, fast pace. The sound of their coupling was obscene, and only made Robb burn hotter.

"Gods, I love you," Robb said, his voice hoarse. Jon's hole was like a vice around his cock, soft like plush velvet. His thrusts were hard, frantic as he chased his orgasm, wanting to bury himself deep as he emptied his seed into the omega. He wrapped his fingers around Jon's neglected cock again, stroking it fast. He swallowed Jon's cries in a kiss, fucking him to the brink of ecstasy.

After a few more punishing thrusts Jon came with a shout, wet and sticky over Robb's hand. The alpha kept stroking him, slower, gentle, Jon whimpering when he became too sensitive to take it.

"Come inside me," Jon urged, his fingers digging into Robb's shoulder blades, thighs wrapped around his hips. With one final thrust Robb buried himself deep as his seed filled Jon. He bit Jon's bottom lip to muffle his cry, worrying it until it was red and swollen, throbbing.

Robb released Jon's lip and braced himself on his elbows, breathing hard. His eyes were dark, the pupil swallowing the crystal blue iris. His skin was flushed and his sweat-damp hair curled at his temples, and Jon was certain he looked no better.

Robb smiled down at Jon, brushing his damp curls away from his face. "Gods, you feel good," he said. It was almost a crime to have to pull out, but they needed to get cleaned up before the slick and seed turned their skin tacky and disgusting.

"So do you," Jon said with a pleased hum. He leaned up to peck Robb's lips, both of them kiss swollen and dark, before releasing Robb. He left the bed only briefly to dampen a cloth in the pitcher on the table, before joining Jon once more. He cleaned them both up, then left the filthy cloth forgotten on the ground. They climbed under the covers, the cold starting to get to them, and Jon basked in the safe feeling of being wrapped in Robb's arms. His pulse was a steady beat beneath his ear, comforting, his scent familiar. Robb kissed the to of his head and Jon would give anything, everything, to stay with him.

Robb ran his fingertips up and down Jon's arms, enjoying the softness of his skin. He knew Jon wasn't telling him something, hoped that he would speak about it now, in the darkness of the night. But he said nothing, nuzzling softly at Robb's chest, like a pup.

"I hope you will tell me what's on your mind," he murmured after half an hour had gone by, neither of them yet sleeping.

"Tomorrow," Jon promised, guilt gripping his heart in a vice and stifling any bliss he had been feeling in the afterglow.

"Alright." Robb tipped Jon's chin up for a gentle kiss. "I love you, Jon. I hope you know that."

"I do," Jon whispered into the darkness, long after Robb had fallen asleep. "And I love you," he said, so quietly not even Ghost would have been able to hear. Then he crawled his way out from under the blankets and dressed, preparing to leave his lover behind forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! This is just to let you all know that I'm working on a rewrite for this fic, so keep an eye out. Tomorrow I'll post the actual chapter 2 (it's too late right now for me to write anymore, rip) which is actually a new and much improved version of the original chapter 1. I've lost my notes on where I was taking this fic, so I've deleted most of the tags because I'm not sure how they're going to ply. Hopefully I'll be able to find them tomorrow, because some parts of the fic were very confusing to me. Seriously, how did you guys read and enjoy the fic before, rereading it a year and a half later, I couldn't even remember what was going on! Anyway, peace out for now, I hope you guys like this revamped fic <3

**Author's Note:**

> I finally got the ASoIaF books today!! I read the first few chapters, and immediately felt inspired to work on some of my fics--which is exactly what I thought would happen xD i'll be working on this one and Ghost of Winterfell for sure, and any of my other canon AUs. the modern aus are going to be put on hold for a while (sorry) until I decide what to do with them. 
> 
> that said; hey guys!! I know I said this a few months ago but im ACTUALLY back now, better than ever xD I gotta say y'all are brave af, because I got nothing but good reviews for this fic and.... rereading it was so cringey oh my god. I hated it so much that I just had to rewrite it, because I had a fun premise, but terrible execution. Many of my fics will probably go through the same rewriting process, so keep an eye out.


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